Murdered at 17 Read online

  From the way her mother nodded, Brooke could tell she was stressed. “Don’t forget to set your alarm,” her mother said and began to climb the stairs.

  “Thanks for reminding me since I’ve never once forgotten to set my alarm,” Brooke muttered under her breath, annoyed, as soon as her mother disappeared from sight.

  Brooke rubbed her temples before pulling her phone from her purse. She’d promised Keisha she’d text to let her know she was safely home.

  Brooke: Hey K. Made it home safe and sound. Does Mads hate me?

  Brooke felt a pang of guilt as she hit send, sure the answer was yes. She hoped Keisha would say something halfway encouraging.

  As Brooke locked the front door and started up to her room, a text came in from Keisha.

  Keisha: I texted her but she didn’t text back. I’m sure she’ll be fine. Just work it out tomorrow. Xoxo

  Sure. Brooke sighed. “Work it out” was code for Brooke having to say she was sorry. She had become used to planning apologies, especially to the people she spent the most time with. She was terrified of the day when her apologies would no longer be accepted by her remaining friends.

  Climbing into bed, Brooke’s thoughts turned from her kiss with Jake back to her fight with Maddie. The champagne buzz was wearing off and regret began to set in. Her relationship with Maddie felt so strained these days, and every time she tried to put her finger on the reason, she couldn’t. Her heart swelled with gratitude when she thought back to the day she’d been kicked out of class after blowing up at the teacher. In tears and marching toward the principal’s office, she’d heard Maddie’s voice behind her.

  “Brooke, wait up!” Stunned that Maddie had bolted out of class after her, she had stopped and waited. Maddie had wrapped her arms around her and had pulled her into a hug.

  “What happened back there?” Maddie had asked. “What upset you so much?”

  “I don’t know,” Brooke had said, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand even though they just kept coming. “I studied really hard for that test and got a C.”

  “I got a C too,” Maddie had said, searching her friend’s face for something more.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mads. I get so angry. It just happens. And I don’t understand why.”

  “Maddie,” they had heard the teacher say and looked back to see her standing outside the door. “I need you to come back to class now. Brooke, the principal’s waiting for you.” Brooke had felt another burst of anger shoot through her.

  Maddie had turned back around. “Come on,” she had whispered, ignoring their teacher. She had grabbed Brooke’s hand and had continued to walk with her down the hall.

  “You’re gonna get detention,” Brooke had said. “Just go back.”

  “Fine. We’ll get detention together, then.” Maddie’s voice had been firm with resolve. “You’re more important.”

  Surprised at her best friend’s selflessness, Brooke had let Maddie lead her to the restroom, where she had helped her wipe the smudged mascara from her face.

  “I wish I knew what was wrong with me,” Brooke had said as Maddie had delicately dabbed at Brooke’s eyes. “Everyone is starting to hate me. I hear them. They talk about me all the time.”

  “We’re going to figure out why this is happening,” Maddie had assured her. “Your real friends are going to stick by you no matter what. Screw everyone else.”

  The memory brought a tear to Brooke’s eye as she stared up at the ceiling. They used to be so close. Everything had been better with Maddie back then. Back before she’d fallen for Tryg, she never would’ve believed Brooke would try to steal her guy. Tomorrow morning, when she was calm, she’d try to patch things up with Maddie and figure out how to turn their relationship around.

  Brooke pulled her jacket tightly around her as she hurried across the campus grounds, trying to catch up with Maddie.

  “Maddie!” When Maddie didn’t stop, Brooke yelled again, hoping she just didn’t hear her. “Maddie!” Maddie still didn’t stop. Undeterred, Brooke ran to catch up and fell into step beside her. “Hey. Can I have a minute?”

  “We don’t have anything to talk about,” Maddie said without looking at her as she trudged through a pile of dead leaves.

  “I wanted to say I’m sorry for pushing you. But I can’t believe you’d really think I’d go after Tryg. I mean, I’m the one that kept telling you that you could do better.” She’d rehearsed the words the entire drive to school.

  “That’s exactly it,” Maddie said, stopping abruptly. “Now I know why you wanted us to break up—so you could go after him.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Brooke could feel the anger starting to grow and she pushed it back down with everything she had. “There is absolutely nothing between me and Tryg. I will never go out with him even if you paid me. And I would never date anyone you liked or used to like.”

  “It’s not just that. You flip out so much.” Maddie had never once complained about Brooke’s behavior, but in that moment she sounded so defeated. Like she was exhausted by the thought of dealing with Brooke’s issues any longer. What if this was truly the last straw and Maddie was ending their friendship? Surely not. Certainly, Maddie could see she had some part in their fight getting out of control.

  “What do you expect when you accuse someone of something they didn’t do?”

  “You know what I’m talking about.”

  “My IED? Is that it?” Brooke lowered her voice, blinking rapidly. “I realize I overreacted last night, but the fact that you think I’d stab you in the back really hurt me. You know I’d never take a guy away from you.”

  Maddie started to respond but then stopped, as if she’d abandoned what she really wanted to say. Self- control, Brooke thought. Some people had it. Good for them.

  “It’s really hard to be friends with you,” Maddie stated carefully. “We fight over every little thing and getting screamed at and pushed in public is embarrassing.”

  “You think I like being this way?” Brooke asked, feeling increasingly desperate as Maddie looked down at the chipping pink polish on her fingernails. “You think I want to go to therapy every other week and carry around a bottle of pills? If I’m that annoying, we don’t have to be friends anymore. Just say you want to end it and we will.” Brooke swallowed, regretting her words. Why did she say that? Of course she wanted to still be friends. Maddie was her rock. Why the hell was she daring her to end it? Brooke struggled to keep tears from forming in her eyes. “I don’t mean that,” she added before Maddie could respond. “You are one of the most important people on the planet to me. I’m sorry for pushing you. But please just admit you know I’d never steal your boyfriend.”

  “I don’t know what I want,” Maddie said finally, looking up. “I’m going through a hard time right now too. I needed you there when Tryg dumped me. I needed you to help cheer me up.”

  “I have done that,” Brooke interjected.

  “I know the IED isn’t your fault, but it’s always about you. Right now, I need it to be about me. I need a friend who makes my life better, not harder. It’s too much for me to deal with. I just, I need to think about a lot of stuff.”

  “What does that mean?” Brooke asked, trying to wrap her head around Maddie’s unexpected confession.

  Maddie shrugged.

  Desperate to say the right thing, Brooke grabbed Maddie’s sleeve. “I didn’t know you felt like that. I don’t want it to be about me all the time. You’ve stuck it out with me through all this shit and I want to be that for you. Knowing you feel this way, I can change it. It won’t always be about me.”

  Maddie shoved her hands in her pockets. “Then give me the space I need.” Her voice was devoid of emotion.

  “Come on, no . . .” Brooke pleaded but Maddie continued toward the entrance, leaving Brooke standing there alone. The tear that had been threatening to fall through the entire confrontation finally broke loose. Brooke quickly wiped it away. On top of the hurt she
felt, she didn’t need her best friend making her feel like she was too “damaged” to be around. The panic and remorse and anger swirled up inside her, and she wasn’t sure which emotion she should be feeling. She already hated so many things about herself now that she’d never hated before. Throwing her heavy gym bag over her other shoulder, she took a moment to size up an oak tree.

  “When you feel like your emotions are getting the best of you,” her therapist, Dr. Fenson, had said, “stop and concentrate on something stationary. A fountain, a parked car, a rock. Think about what makes it perfect and what makes it imperfect. And just breathe.” Brooke decided to take her advice.

  She focused on the nearby tree, cataloging its characteristics, the twists of its trunk, the color of its dying leaves, and the way its branches moved in the breeze, until she felt her heart rate begin to slow. She felt better now. More in control. More connected. Pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt down over her hands, she could feel her emotions settle.

  As she walked across the browning October lawn, she heard a text come in. Hoping it was Maddie apologizing and telling her she hadn’t meant it when she said she needed space, Brooke pulled out her phone. It wasn’t Maddie, but it was from the next-best person, Jake.

  Jake: Good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you up. But I promised I’d text you today and I never break a promise. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?

  Brooke felt her heart race a little as a smile spread across her face. With fingers flying over her phone, she texted back.

  Brooke: I’m glad you did! And yes, Thursday sounds great.

  She waited, still feeling excited as she watched the bubble tell her he was typing back.

  Jake: Have you ever been to Wally’s on Main?

  Uh, no. Wally’s on Main was one of the nicest restaurants in the city, and close to East Falls. It was also expensive.

  Brooke: No but I’d love to try it.

  Jake: Great. Seven o’clock?

  Brooke: See ya then. Xoxo

  Feeling better, Brooke slipped the phone into her bag and headed toward the school. If Maddie didn’t want to hang out with her, fine. She’d spend time with a hot, rich guy who couldn’t wait to see her.

  “You know that black dress you wore to the club that one night? With the zipper up the side?” Brooke asked as she tightened the laces on her shoes.

  “Yeah,” Keisha said, curious, without taking her eyes off the locker room mirror.

  “Can I borrow it for my date tomorrow? I promise I won’t get anything on it.” She had been agonizing over what to wear that would drive Jake insane, but didn’t have anything in her closet that was special enough.

  “Of course you can,” Keisha said, pulling her hair up into an elastic tie. “You’re going out with that guy Jake?”

  Brooke nodded, trying not to seem overly enthusiastic. The truth was, ever since she’d received his text, she couldn’t get him, or that kiss, out of her head.

  “Where is he taking you?”

  “Wally’s on Main,” Brooke said, unable to keep from grinning.

  “What?!” Keisha spun around to face her. “That place is crazy pricey. And super nice. My dad took us all there for my mom’s birthday.”

  “I can’t wait,” Brooke gushed. “Not only because we’re going there. I’m just super excited to hang out with him some more.” Brooke noticed Keisha was giving her a strange look. “What?”

  “Nothing,” Keisha said as she turned back around and stuck the post of one of her silver earrings through her ear. “It’s just nice to see you excited about something.”

  That’s why everyone likes Keisha, Brooke thought. As much as she could hover, she was always genuinely happy for people.

  “It’s nice to be excited about something.”

  For the first time since her fall, Brooke almost forgot she had IED. She had something to look forward to that made her feel like a typical teenager. She had a sense, though, that nothing about Jake was typical. He wasn’t like anyone else she’d ever met. Everything that she knew about him already made her want to know more. I want him, she thought. I want him to be so wrapped up in me after our date that he can’t even think about another girl. And that, she decided, was exactly what she was going to do.

  Six

  Great Dates and Awkward Encounters

  The tight black dress hugged every one of Brooke’s curves, stopping just above the knee. Holy ghost peppers I look hot, she thought as she turned from side to side. If this dress doesn’t make Jake want to strip it right off me, nothing will.

  As she foraged through her closet for the right shoes, she could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Brooke quickly peeled the dress off and shoved it under her comforter before jumping in to a pair of jeans. She almost had them zipped when the knock came.

  “Just a sec,” Brooke said, shoving her arms into her sweatshirt. When she was sure she didn’t have it on backward, she opened the door to see her mother standing there with a toolbox. Alex, her mother’s longtime boyfriend, was behind her balancing a heavy box.

  “What’s this?” Brooke asked as the adults entered and Alex set the box down with a grunt.

  “Your new chair,” Alex said. She could hear pride in his voice, which was certainly better than the judgment that should have been there. Brooke had destroyed the occasional chair that belonged in her room in a fit of rage when her mother laid into her about forgetting to take her pills and she’d just started saving money to replace it. She hadn’t expected them to bring her a new one.

  “How much was it?” Brooke asked, wondering where she’d get the cash. Aside from babysitting on occasion, she’d never had a job. Just a weekly allowance.

  “Alex paid for it,” her mother said. Brooke looked to Alex, surprised.

  “Don’t worry about it. It was on sale.”

  “Thank you,” Brooke said, truly pleased as she knelt down to look at the photo of it on the box. “I like the chevron pattern. That’s cool.”

  “Is that what you call that?” Alex inquired in his typical good-natured way, pulling the top of the box open until the staples gave.

  “Hopefully they didn’t forget to put all the screws in like they did last time, remember?” her mother said, shaking her head.

  Brooke nodded. She’d forgotten about that time six or seven years ago when she and her mother brought home a bookcase for the den and couldn’t finish putting the last shelf on. That bookcase was still in their den and the shelf was somewhere in their garage, waiting for the day they found the right screws. Her mother sat the toolbox on the bed and opened it.

  Brooke hovered awkwardly, wondering how she was going to get the dress and shoes into her bag without her mom and Alex noticing. She didn’t want to tell them she had a date or she’d end up spending the next two hours answering questions. And she certainly didn’t want them to catch a glimpse of how small that black dress was.

  Alex sat down on the floor and pulled out the directions. Brooke must have made a face because her mother asked, “Is this a bad time for us to put it together?”

  “Oh, uh, no. Not at all,” Brooke assured her, not wanting to sound ungrateful for the gift. “I’m heading over to Maddie’s in a little bit to study.”

  Brooke grabbed her bag and used her body to shield them from the heels she was pulling from the closet. Then she turned to the bed. The dress was hidden only inches from the toolbox. Dammit. “Here, let me help,” Brooke said, quickly coming up with a plan. She grabbed the toolbox off the bed and sat it down next to Alex on the floor. Then she sat down beside it.

  “I’m sure I’ll need a screwdriver,” Alex said. Brooke shuffled through the tools until she found a Phillips screwdriver and handed it to him. Brooke’s mother sat down on the other side of Alex to help.

  “You know what else we’ll need, Mom? A razor blade to peel the stickers off. I think there’s one in the drawer in the kitchen.”

  Her mother immediately got back up. “You’re right. I’ll get it,” sh
e said and walked out.

  With her mother gone and Alex focused on the directions, Brooke knew she could sneak the dress into the bag without getting any questions. Brooke popped up, slipped her hand under her pillow, and pulled the dress, in a wad, out and into her bag. Alex didn’t even look up. Yesssssss.

  “I’m gonna take off. Thanks again for the chair,” she said, zipping up her backpack.

  Alex asked with a smile, “Wait, that’s all the help I’m gonna get?”

  “You and Mom clearly have this under control. Have a good night!” Brooke giggled to herself as she dashed out of the room and down the hall, coming face-to-face with her mom on the way down the stairs.

  “You’re leaving?” her mother asked, a rusted razor blade in her hand.

  “I didn’t realize how late it was. See you later!”

  “Be careful driving.”

  “I will!” Brooke continued down the stairs and out the door. Yay! Freedom at last! It sucked not being able to tell her mother where she was really going, but this was more simple and efficient. Now she could focus completely on getting ready for her date with Jake.

  Brooke turned the wheel, guiding her car into the parking lot of a gas station. Brooke and Maddie had discovered long ago that the best way of keeping their parents from realizing they weren’t going to a movie, but were instead going to a house party, was to change into their going-out clothes in a gas station bathroom. They had spent countless hours primping in front of the mirrors there before heading out for a night of fun.

  Brooke looked down at her gas gauge. She still had a quarter tank but figured since she was here, she might as well get gas too.

  After paying for the fuel and a package of breath mints, Brooke ducked into one of the stalls in the bathroom, slipped on Keisha’s dress, and buckled up her sexy silver pumps with stacked heels. Brooke completed the process in less than three minutes and threw open the stall door. She checked her appearance in the mirror. Perfect.

  Dumping her makeup out onto the counter, Brooke hastily twisted her hair up into a clip and brushed eyeliner over her top lid. As she was touching up her mascara, an employee in a red shirt and black slacks walked in. Brooke smiled at her. The woman smiled back, did a cursory check of the amount of toilet paper in each of the stalls, pulled a clipboard off the door, and initialed it.